Wednesday, March 22, 2023

ugh...

 Last night I lost my diamond engagement ring.   Two months to the day that Jerry left the house.  I'm trying not to let myself read too much into that.  It will turn up. It is in the bedroom...somewhere.

Monday, March 20, 2023

less than....

I'm a little down today. It's hard when you think for 27 years you are loved and cherished.... And now you barely speak....why should I chase someone who is chasing something else..

I saw a quote that said, don't be someone's "sometimes" by Bridgette Devoue it hit me hard. 

Sunday, March 19, 2023

Movie...

Jerry invited me to go see Shazam! Fury of the Gods. FUN movie. I can't wait to see it again. It was a nice outing. Came home, quick kiss before saying goodbye and just ordered some P. F. Changs for dinner. 

I'm catching up on some Mayor of Eastown... Not really my favorite. As I type that I realized life is too short to watch shows that you don't enjoy. I'm going to watch some Shining Girl on Apple TV, while I Wait for my Mongolian beef to show up. I'm hungry. I had breakfast but then for lunch I had popcorn. Not really very healthy but I wanted popcorn at the movies but I am going to chow down on some Mongolian beef!! 

And once dinner is done I'm going to put on my robe and watch more TV and drink coffee till the wee hours of the morning!! 

Friday, March 17, 2023

Am I wrong?

Am I wrong because I don't want to have conversations with strangers on the internet that I'd rather connect with somebody that I know and can see and I don't know I mean... I get that's how Jerry and I met, but now it seems transactional. Here's a picture of my vagina. Send me a picture of your dick. Oh let's be friends. No! Did I become a prude? Am I abnormal? I don't understand.... And I'm supposed to be just okay that they're still friends. I'm sorry I'm not sending my vagina to other people. When I said "I do"  I meant you and you alone. So if you're sending anyone dick pics it should be me. But please don't because I'm not one of your little side chicks

everything and nothing ..

It seems like things are changing for the good but that one thing is still happening and I am having problems letting that go. So I'm back to square one but not really. It's like everything is changing but that doesn't so nothing really has changed. 

When your everything becomes a part of something... What's left.... 

Thursday, March 16, 2023

happy birthday....?

Today I turn 56. I'm thankful to be alive. Yesterday I went to Silver Springs and did the Glass Bottom Boats with Jerry. He has me confused. There are times he can't get enough and then like a switch I'm feeling nothing but acquaintance vibes. 

It's 2:30am and we are going to Weeki Wachi springs to see the mermaids. I WILL be present and not worry about anything other than enjoying the experience. 

Be present! 

Monday, March 13, 2023

Monday of Birthday week....

 It was a great weekend.  I really like my new car.  It's very comfy.  Feels very Jeanne :)

Jerry stopped by last night after his week in Las Vegas.  Honestly, I don't know why.  He said he wanted to see me, but it was late (8:30pm), although I made him spaghetti.  He would have been better off going home and resting. However, he did mention that he had to eat if I needed another excuse other than him wanting to see me.  I need to trust his intentions right now.  I need to work on that.  Trust....such a crazy concept. 

I had an eye appointment this morning.  My eyes are less bothersome than in previous appointments.  I had moved it from earlier this month because I didn't want to take time off work.  I should stop doing that and just go to them when I schedule.  Life is too short to worry about pissing off my employer. 

It's my birthday week.  I tried to get some Kilwin's ice cream over the weekend, but St. Augustine was crazy, and after that fiasco, I didn't feel like going to the town center. 

Tomorrow we leave for our "Separate Room Vacation" which should be interesting. I'm nervous.  I'll probably ask my therapist today about tools that might help. 

ugh...

 Last night I lost my diamond engagement ring.   Two months to the day that Jerry left the house.  I'm trying not to let myself read too...