Tuesday, January 31, 2023
Sunday, January 29, 2023
Saturday, January 28, 2023
I am not a priority in his life. I am second to Jessica or the countless others he has going on. So Jessica, stake your claim. I will not fight you, but I will get what I need to continue a life that he and I built, and he decided to chuck aside for virtual passion.
Nutmeg and I are becoming close. It's wonderful. I'm sure it's out of necessity for her, but again....not a priority in his new life. It's fine. I'm good. I'm working on myself. I'm a good person who did not break marriage vows, lie, or do things on the internet. Hope there is no turnabout there and his professional reputation isn't damaged.
Thursday, January 26, 2023
Wednesday, January 25, 2023
Tuesday, January 24, 2023
Monday, January 23, 2023
Sunday, January 22, 2023
Asked him to fight, even offered rules. Denied.
"We're too good at being angry at each other..."
I just want it all out there. Expose the wounds, clean them up and move on. Now they just get to fester, and we'll keep them covered, never knowing if they are rotting and becoming infected.
Am I weird that I want to fight this out?
Oh..and to top this all off, Nutmeg is crying because she misses him. So I have that....
Saturday, January 21, 2023
I had to watch the Jaguars game alone. This is something we did since I moved to Florida in 1995. I was here for the day one game....and other than the time he took his work wife to the game we had gone to all of them together. ...and we usually start out watching them on TV together. Sometimes if he gets loud I go to the other room. But to have him gone...is heartbreaking.
Here is the other thing...I think he is probably happy right now. Not that the Jaguars lost but that he is free some what he said was a prison.
Years...he said years of not being happy. ..and months that his activities have been going on. I'm floored. Was I that blind?
We both admitted that we didn't communicate well. Hard when you can feel that they would rather be on the phone or in the other room.
Years..I'm really heartbroken over that.
Friday, January 20, 2023
Thursday, January 19, 2023
How long will it be before I get an unsolicited hug?
How long will it be before we can sit happily again in silence with no phone distractions?
How long will it be before you like me again?
How long before I don't cry every day?
How long before it's noticed that I'm hurting?
Wednesday, January 18, 2023
Tuesday, January 17, 2023
Monday, January 16, 2023
Sunday, January 15, 2023
Thursday, January 12, 2023
Tuesday, January 10, 2023
Sunday, January 8, 2023
Saturday, January 7, 2023
Tuesday, January 3, 2023
Uninstalled some apps to check his sugars, sharing location, and sharing maps. I am obsessing over those things and that isn't healthy. ...
Sometimes, no, most times you need to be a super sleuth regarding your health. My doctor kept talking about a medication that would be out i...
We are vaccinated, boosted as much as we can and the post COVID fatigue is still hanging around. We are doing much better though. We are bac...
I have dodged getting COVID until this past week. Thank goodness I was vaccinated and boosted. I honestly feel that kept me from having comp...