Being Jeanne...

 I walk into a room and feel the ick of it's decor.  I need to fix that.  And fast.  Or I don't know what's going to happen. 

 I couldn't be happier that it's the last week.  This has been another challenging year.  I am wondering whether I just need a break or a break from educational interpreting.   Looking forward to sleeping in those first few days of break.  Then I need to get my act together and do some purging.  I'm feeling suffocated, and I know a lot of it stems from the clutter in the house. I don't need all this stuff. I also have some places to sell my Barbies to. They need to go. I really want that back bedroom to be functional again.  I don't like knowing that it's just a cluster fuck of junk back there.  Too much stuff.     Some days, I wish we lived in a smaller place. I like this house, but it needs a lot of work, and I'm saying that stresses out Jerry...so I just keep my mouth shut, which isn't healthy for me.  Two more wake-ups...

 Feeling like I'm not a priority, even though he still takes care of me.  Yes, he still makes me breakfast and helps me pack up my stuff to go to work but at night it's phone, phone, phone.   I hate it.  Then I get on my phone and I know that isn't good for me.  I told myself I was going to excuse myself from the room when I saw that but I haven't been diligent.  I need to...I don't want it for any part of me.

It takes work to keep a marriage alive and thriving. And some days you just don't feel like making that work...  I'm in that phase right now. I just want to exist and it kind of sucks because I don't really like the way my marriage is going right now. It's not bad by any means. It's just kind of bland, and part of it is my fault because I am not leaning into it. I am not taking the time to initiate intimacy. I am not taking the time to initiate much lately. So yeah, a little of it's on me, and I don't seem to be getting any pushback, so yeah... That being said, I am going to try to reach out and have some physical contact and things of that nature because I do know that it's important in a marriage to reach out. I just don't know when LOL... I have nine more wake-ups until summer break. And might just hold off until then. Weekends are better. Weekdays not so much. So yeah, marriages are work. Don't forget it. 

 End of the school year blahs! It's been a rough year.  From no support on how to deal with a behavior in class with one student that caused another student to basically be neglected.  Couldn't get the help I needed, so I moved to an elementary school where the staff wasn't too pleased with my coming.  That isn't entirely true..some of the people were friendly and I can now call them work friends..but for the most part.  It was a chilly opening.  Finally got to meet the principal after months of being there, and apparently rubbed her the wrong way.  My yearly evaluation reflected that as well.  I guess my fighting for what I needed to do my job as a related service provider didn't fit with their need to control information.   I won...that's all that matters. Although, as I mentioned, my evaluation was the lowest it's EVER been.  I have never received below the top tier.  I would accept it, but it's all in the technical skills o...