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sigh

So I have to say that since me finding out that he was still talking to people he fell in love with. I have been distant and I'm trying to rail against that feeling of just wanting to get the fuck out because he is my person. I don't know that I'm his person and he is trying to prove that he thinks of me as his person but I just don't see it sometimes. I really wish I could trust again but I can't. I don't know how to trust. I know it has to be earned and that is hard. I almost wish not that I want to be love bombed, but I wish he would over communicate right now because that's the kind of reassurance I need or I feel like I need. I probably really don't need that. I'd probably be like dude. Whatever. I don't need a blow by blow but sometimes I feel like I do need a blow by blow. I need to be married to fucking Howard Cosell. I want to know what you're doing, where you're doing it even if it's mundane crap. Share your fucking life with me. 

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