So what do I do?

 I'm stuck.  I love him.  I think he loves me.  

I'm not going to be a backup plan.  I will never accept his backup plan to be part of our life.  He told me he was done with her, which was a lie.  He knew exactly what I needed to move forward in this relationship and just lied to get what he wanted.  And it caught up to him...AGAIN!

I don't even think he knows that I'm hurt.  He knows I'm not happy, but he is clueless as to why this bothers me.  

I am not: 

• second
• a loser
• convenience

You can have your little 8-month affair, but I won't be part of it.  We are done.  I can be your friend but can't be your wife in this scenario. 

You should realize that we are done.  You fucked it up!  You got greedy.

From now on, I will live for myself.  I will put MY needs above our needs.  Because that's what you have taught me.  I can be just as selfish, but I will wait until our divorce to pursue what I need and not bring it into this marriage because I have more respect for you than you obviously have for me.