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ugh.... really??

I had a lovely day! A person I always found dear came back into my life after 15 years. We met fort lunch eland ended up spending three hours chit chatting. Jerry and I had plans but nothing was communicated so I just went with the flow. 
I walk in the door and apologized and said "Sorry, nothing was set up and you said you talk to me in the morning but that... " and I was cut off kid sentence with him saying "i don't want to get into, yeah. .  " So I am in my room calming down. 

Thank goodness the friends I have treat me good. Otherwise I'd be a shrivelled lump of self loathing. 

Okay.  Bathroom and take two!! It's a good thing I love him and want to try to work in this.   This is fucking hard.... Should it be?

Ugh.... 

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